Why saying “You’re beautiful.” is NOT a compliment

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When I was younger and a family friend would reach down, grab my face and exclaim to my mother, “She’s beautiful!”, I was told to reply with a “Thank you.” Many girls strive for the label and others feel jealousy towards those given this title. As a result, a girl puts her self worth in the hands of someone else. 

I’m not addressing this as a pessimist or trying to prove that inner beauty is more important than physical beauty. In reality, they both have their benefits. But really think about what someone is saying when they tell you, “You are beautiful.” I’m not convinced that it’s truly a compliment.

1. Beauty is not something that a person can own. I own my body, yes, but not the beauty. Why? Because I can’t control it. One day, I will look different, and the compliments from random strangers in bars will stop. Let’s hope this is mainly because I will spend less time in bars, but one never knows. Also, I did not create the beauty. I can put on makeup or get surgery to enhance my look, but I did not choose the color of my eyes or the size of my nose. That is all thanks to genetics and luck.                                   
2. Beauty is one dimensional. Being funny or smart has a way of increasing a person’s attractiveness, however, I’ve never heard of a person’s beauty contributing to one’s ability. For example, many men find actresses or singers more attractive than some models. This may be personal preference, but I think talent has increased their appeal. On the other hand, being beautiful does not make a person a better singer. It may help them sell more CDs but that is due to the fact that physical attractiveness has a way of excusing poor behavior and discouraging actual talent. 
3. The phrase “You are beautiful” has lost its significance. Although it is never a negative thing to hear, being told that you are beautiful has become a common pickup phrase. When it is used this way, I feel like a conquest. Someone has declared me beautiful and only after that do they want my attention. It’s as if you aren’t worth talking to unless you are beautiful. This also goes along with the idea that beautiful people are treated differently. Although it may be nice to get special attention, it’s conditional and demoralizing. Shouldn’t everyone be treated with the same amount of kindness?
4. Beauty is subjective. Therefore, what you say can’t be proven. It also makes the complimenter the judge, and the receiver at someone else’s disposal. A girl may be smart, funny, and kind, but she does not feel complete until she is considered attractive. And even worse, a girl can feel attractive and be told she is beautiful, but have it undermined by one outside source telling her otherwise. Have you ever noticed how most female models do not strive to be anything else? Like an actress or business woman, but tons of actors started out as male models? It’s as if, being beautiful is a woman's ultimate goal. 
5. Beauty is fleeting. If being beautiful in a physically attractive way is the best compliment (and I’ve thought it was in the past), then my happiness is limited. Girls, you are limiting yourselves by putting so much emphasis on physical qualities. For most, physical attractiveness decreases as time progresses so if you invest your happiness in your beauty, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment.

Now, I’m not saying I would be offended by being called beautiful. It is a very nice thing to hear, but it should not be the goal or determine how I feel about myself. Changing the syntax would help. And on those instances that I’m told that I am beautiful as a person, that I have a beautiful heart or smile, I do not feel like I have to hold onto some fading moment. Don’t you think it is better to be complimented on your ability rather than your physicality? If a man loves a woman because she is beautiful then what will happen when the beauty, that is out of your control, fades or he decides someone else is more beautiful? As girls, you have to develop qualities that you can control and decide that those are traits you want to be seen for instead of encouraging others to call you beautiful. 

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I understand that physical features are what attract a mate and that we instinctively choose people that would produce healthy and attractive offspring, but humans hold women to ridiculous, unattainable standards that perpetuate self loathing and outside validation. And none of this is in the interest of producing healthy, attractive offspring. It is all in vain.

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I'll take the compliment, but I'm also taking a stand. The truly beautiful thing is that I am in control of my own self worth and can make my own standards.

Makeup for Mermaids (Waterproofing Your Makeup Tutorial)

If you want to look cute and fresh like Ariel when you pop ashore ready to sing to your unconscious human Prince Eric a creepy tune, keep reading! If you like looking smeared and scary like Ursula, that's totally cool too. Sometimes we all just want to the rock the hot mess. No judgement. Been there before! (Seriously.) 

I know that summer is coming to an end, but for some the hot sticky sweaty days are still ahead.  For those who will be spending their Labor Day Weekend near/on/in water, you will benefit from this post.(Unless you don't wear makeup then you really won't need this post.)

Now, I must have been a fish in a previous life because I spend some serious time under the water. 

Just look at that super attractive photo ;) 

As you can see I have a decent amount of eye make up on! It faded a bit but was still there when I made it home (six hours later). 

STARTING WITH THE EYES

My favorite eyeshadow to get wet is MAC's 'Mineralize' Eyeshadow Duo. However any powder eyeshadow will work. I've tried numerous kinds and it doesn't ruin them! 

First you get your eye makeup brush wet with water and then apply as you normally would. Just dipping the tips of the brush in some water should be sufficient. If the shadow is too thin, tap the brush to dry and keep adding the shadow. 

Boom. Set. All waterproofed and ready!

I really like MAC's Fluidline for eyeliner. I use the pot and brush, but I think the pencil is easier, especially when it comes to winging your liner! You can actually use the fulidline for a smokey eye primer. It's a good investment for your makeup bag.

For mascara my favorite since 2009 has to be Clinic's High Impact Curling Mascara. I like this because it doesn't smear, just flakes off when you gently rub your eyes with water, oil, or makeup remover. It has been my go to for every single event, it is tear proof and water proof! 

   

  Photo: Sephora 

   

Photo: Nordstrom

Photo: Nordstrom 

      

                               

FOR THE BASE 

For my foundation I use ZUZU Luxe's Dual Powder Foundation. It is my favorite coverage waterproof or not. What I do is just use a flat foundation brush and get it wet like the eyeshadow and apply. It's a bit trickier than eyeshadow because too much can make you too dark. But just play with it, and you'll get it in no time. 

For non watery events, I use the ZuZu liquid foundation and then powder for a beautiful fresh faced but great coverage.

Zuzu is Vegan and Gluten free and can be found at Vitamin Cottages and all the Whole Foods I have been at. 

For blush/bronzer/highlighter I would recommend a cream base, like RMS's lip2cheek! I have DEMURE but the one shown is SMILE.  RMS, is an all Organic Ingredient Makeup! They are pretty water resistant. However, everyone's skin has a different texture. So just keep that in mind if these products don't work for you! 

I have never tried to get MAC 'Mineralize' Blush and Bronzers wet, but I bet they work great like the eye shadows!

I also like Origins' Pinch Your Cheeks for my cheekies (on my face of course, don't be weird). I love the CoralBerry hue. And it gives you a perfect cute very natural sun kissed look. 

I have also tried just using regular powdered blush and bronzer, you just apply it with a wet make up brush.

 

 Photo: RMS

Photo: Origins

      Photo: Amazon 

LASTLY LIPS 

I use Chanel Rogue Allure, Enthusiast #74 (Which I had since 2008 and don't even know if they still make it). A little goes a long way and lasts for days! Seriously! One time I fell asleep with it on and my hand was under my lips. I woke up with a kissy mark, and it took some serious scrubbing to get it off of my hand.

Or I use Origin's pinch your cheeks, or just chap stick.   

   

Photo: Nordstrom

  

Photo Credit

   

Photo: Nordstrom

                                

I know that all of this makeup is pricey! But I have started collecting pieces over the years, and they have lasted for many years, except the powder. It lasted a year. (Is that maybe gross or unhealthy?!).  

If you have any questions please feel free to comment/email us! 

 

Have fun! Have a wonderful rest of summer! 

Kisses,

Dominique